[ Ronan envelops Murphy with his strong arms, cradling him against his chest. ]
Good, because I don't want you to leave.
[ He lays one palm against the back of Murphy's neck, soothing and stroking his hair. Murphy can keep himself hidden away there for as long as he needs. ]
[ This has been Murphy's new safe place, in Ronan's strong arms. ]
I like hearing that, [ he says softly. If he spoke any louder, he felt like he'd cry. And Kavinsky sat in the back of his mind mouthing 'fucking baby' at how fragile Murphy is so he doesn't speak any louder.
After a clockless moment, Murphy pulls away so he can look at Ronan's face. He smiles, one that's pained. ]
[ Ronan doesn't smile, though his features are softened with compassion as he examines Murphy's expression. He'd never laugh at Murphy's tears, but he also doesn't want to be the cause of them. ]
[ It stings, how right Murphy is. There's no one who's ever been safer for Ronan's presence beside them, but too many who have been sacrificed to him or because of him. It's for this reason precisely that he's meant to be separating himself from his personhood, forfeiting his bad decisions and relinquishing his power. Why does Ronan Lynch exist at all, when it's only the Greywaren who can help people? ]
You deserve to have people you can rely on. Even if I'm not one of them.
[ Either of those things. The former would be a delusional statement even by the reckoning of the people who've known and loved Ronan best. The latter is simply nonsensical. ]
Ronan isn't irritated in the slightest, although the mistake is understandable.
"No," he snaps, taking Murphy by the arm before he can try to scurry away. It's not a violent grab, but his hold is firm, even as his voice softens, "No. Come on, don't do that."
Closing the distance between them, he rests his other hand on Murphy's shoulder, squeezes it, then drags him into another embrace. This fucking kid breaks his heart. And yes, he knows it all, but there's a difference between knowing how it went down and hearing Murphy's take on it.
"Tell me what you did that was so bad you deserve to be alone forever."
Well, Ronan certainly sounded irritated; It was often hard to read him while Murphy wore all his emotions on his sleeve.
Before Murphy can even think about retreating, Ronan has him anchored. "Not really in the mood to get snapped at." And then he is being dragged into another embrace, one that Murphy fully accepts. Murphy sucks in air through his nose and it gets pushed out of his chest in a heavy sigh.
His arms are left hanging at his sides and he's laying against Ronan as if he were lifeless. "I thought you knew everything about me," Murphy murmurs, half-muffled because the corner of his mouth is pressed onto Ronan's shoulder.
"It's my fault. I lost him and then I lost my mom. I didn't have anyone for the longest time." Murphy shifts, allowing his gaze to drift up to the sky. "I know it's going to sound fucking dumb but then I came here and I have you."
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Good, because I don't want you to leave.
[ He lays one palm against the back of Murphy's neck, soothing and stroking his hair. Murphy can keep himself hidden away there for as long as he needs. ]
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I like hearing that, [ he says softly. If he spoke any louder, he felt like he'd cry. And Kavinsky sat in the back of his mind mouthing 'fucking baby' at how fragile Murphy is so he doesn't speak any louder.
After a clockless moment, Murphy pulls away so he can look at Ronan's face. He smiles, one that's pained. ]
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I'm sorry I didn't protect you.
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[ Murphy takes a step back, giving them both a little space. ] Just don't make those kinds of promises anymore.
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You deserve to have people you can rely on. Even if I'm not one of them.
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I don't think I deserve that, though. [ I killed my dad, he thinks. Murphy won't ever let that go. His mother never did so why should he? ]
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[ Either of those things. The former would be a delusional statement even by the reckoning of the people who've known and loved Ronan best. The latter is simply nonsensical. ]
sorry for switching formats! im on mobile.
Does he even need to say why? Ronan knows, he should know why Murphy doesn't think he deserves a lot of things.
"Forget it. I'm going to go back inside."
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"No," he snaps, taking Murphy by the arm before he can try to scurry away. It's not a violent grab, but his hold is firm, even as his voice softens, "No. Come on, don't do that."
Closing the distance between them, he rests his other hand on Murphy's shoulder, squeezes it, then drags him into another embrace. This fucking kid breaks his heart. And yes, he knows it all, but there's a difference between knowing how it went down and hearing Murphy's take on it.
"Tell me what you did that was so bad you deserve to be alone forever."
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Before Murphy can even think about retreating, Ronan has him anchored. "Not really in the mood to get snapped at." And then he is being dragged into another embrace, one that Murphy fully accepts. Murphy sucks in air through his nose and it gets pushed out of his chest in a heavy sigh.
His arms are left hanging at his sides and he's laying against Ronan as if he were lifeless. "I thought you knew everything about me," Murphy murmurs, half-muffled because the corner of his mouth is pressed onto Ronan's shoulder.
"It's my fault. I lost him and then I lost my mom. I didn't have anyone for the longest time." Murphy shifts, allowing his gaze to drift up to the sky. "I know it's going to sound fucking dumb but then I came here and I have you."