[Adam stops short at that, eyebrows going up. That was not the suggestion he expected from his deeply Catholic, deeply devoted boyfriend.
He's also not at all sure how he feels about it.
Taking a seat on midair--held aloft by one of his force fields, and he's getting better at tapping just enough energy and then holding it in his veins so that he can summon force fields whenever he wants--Adam watches them. He's still wearing his jeans, and his expression is guarded.]
Not safer for the fish. How are you okay with this?
Really? [ This is news to him, too, Adam. A hand job in a lake, that'd—Well, actually who knows what would happen. The fish would probably die, though, yeah. He can't do that to poor innocent fish!
So he puts his hands over Ronan's and gently pushes them off his hips, because the face Ronan's boyfriend is sending them isn't an encouraging one. ] Yeah, nah, the fish don't deserve that...
[When Adam says that, the smile immediately vanishes from Ronan's face. He's misunderstood something here, clearly. It doesn't take much effort for Kyle to push his hands away, since Ronan's already pulling them off.]
[Adam immediately regrets his tone. He'd expected Ronan to fight him on it.
As uncertain as he is about this whole thing, Ronan being unhappy is worse.
Rising to his feet again, Adam sends a soothing thrum through Ronan's energy. He steps out of his jeans and into the water. Kyle's comfort and concerns are an afterthought. Adam's priority is Ronan.
He catches Ronan with a hand on his elbow, studying his face.]
I'm surprised, that's all. You want this?
[This time, he's more careful with his tone, so that his voice says it's okay if you do.]
[Ronan's stomach drops the same way it did when he first realized he was gay, and in the subsequent months and years, every moment he had to face an attractive boy and be confronted with his arousal all over again. For a long time, desire would become nausea, until he learned to channel it into violence instead. See, he's known for most of his life that he had a disgusting and forbidden appetite. He'd only managed to fool himself into believing that what he wanted would be okay here.
He presses his palm to his mouth, looking past Adam to the darkness of the lake.]
[ Kyle, smartly, says nothing. This is clearly a personal matter between them that needs to be settled, and he is fine floating through the water behind them in silence. There's no support he can give to Ronan, unfortunately, only that his presence here is one of a friend.
Even if the mood has been broken, he's happy to see that Adam is trying to guide him into a better state of mind. It's sweet. ]
[Even with Adam manipulating his energy and issuing reassuring orders with sweet kisses, Ronan can't stop hearing the words he said first. The first thing out of someone's mouth is usually the truth, slipped before they have a chance to consider their words too deeply. And these particular words cut right to the heart of Ronan's Catholic indoctrination. Not just a truth, but God judging him through Adam.]
No, you were right. I should go pray. I'm fucking horrible.
[When Ronan looks at Kyle again, he does it askance, like he's afraid he'll get hard again if he looks directly.]
[Adam doesn't understand what Ronan's upset about, yet again, and he's frustrated that Ronan's shutting in on himself and marinating in self-loathing instead of communicating. But he's trying to find better ways to handle these situations--no more accidental lightning strikes.]
Kyle, rain check. [He holds out his knuckles to Kyle for a fist bump, and holds out his other hand to Ronan, fingers splayed, palm up.] Tinkerbell, with me.
[ Getting off lucky? What—Murder? Is Ronan talking about murdering him again?? It's always something, isn't it. ]
Yeah, that's cool. [ There's no hard feelings between any of them. If this is what he thinks it's about, Kyle's been in his shoes to a lesser degree. He reciprocates the fist bump and starts wading toward the shore for his clothes. ]
[Ronan, meanwhile, literally leaves his mortal body. At the same time fists are being bumped, light cracks along his skin and the boy dissolves entirely, replaced by a will-o'-the-wisp burning dully above the water's surface.
Murder wasn't on the agenda at all. It's just that Ronan knows he's not supposed to engage in carnal behavior, and terrible things happen to all the boys he loves. Adam was right to question him. There's probably a reason Ronan's father created his mother instead of taking a human lover.
With this form, Ronan's deep shame gives way to the cool acceptance that he shouldn't touch anyone at all.]
[Adam gathers up his ball of light boyfriend, sending waves of affection and warmth through his energy and settling the light on his shoulder, tucked up against his neck.]
Stay close.
[They can worry about Kyle later. Adam gives him a cursory wave as he gathers up his own clothing and Ronan's and starts heading toward the church.]
Open up to me. I want to understand what you originally wanted with Kyle and how that changed when I questioned you.
[Ronan answers in a stream of disconnected thoughts and feelings. There's the jealousy he'd felt at the party, a memory rather than lingering resentment. He hadn't only been angry that the boys were fooling around, that others were touching Adam. He'd also been envious of their freedom to do it, their lack of inhibition.
There's the memory of his encounter with Kyle in the kitchen, and how Kyle had touched him, and how exciting and secretly terrifying it had been to let a stranger put hands on him.
There's the guilt when he realized Adam hadn't slept with anyone that night, and that he'd lost his temper over nothing. And the guilt echoing over and over every time Kyle contacted him. And the desire to do it again despite that. And the guilt over that desire.
And then the misguided idea that Adam might like to share Kyle. The horror when Adam chastised him instead. The realization that Adam was right.
Ronan had let himself become carefree. It was wrong.]
[Adam takes it all in, attentively, as they head to the church. He's glad that it's a one-way thing, while he processes through the jealousy and confusion he feels, learning that Ronan is serious about Kyle, and wants to keep him around. Wants to date him, apparently.]
I like you carefree. [He drops their clothing to one side of their little attic room--it's theirs, now. Belongs to the two of them. This version always has. It's not the same room as the one that had been Adam's back home, though Ronan had increasingly made that one his.
Ronan thinks he made an exact copy. He didn't, but Adam doesn't want to tell him that. He likes Ronan's version better.
The cardboard box under the bed doesn't have the dent from when Adam lost his temper and kicked it, because that's a reminder of the parts of this room that belonged to Blue and to Adam's past. The bathroom cabinet door opens smoothly, without the wobble it had developed back home. None of the wisps of Blue's hair or bits of brightly colored yarn fuzz were included in this version.
It's their sanctuary, and Adam's liked it more and more as he's realized that. He's removed some of the things that reminded him more painfully of his past, finding other places to store them. He replaced the pillows and the duvet with new ones, but left the mattress because the one Ronan dreamed was larger and softer than the one back home had been, and he wasn't about to bother hauling a mattress up all those stairs if it could be avoided.]
I like it when you trust me and tell me things. I like it less when you spring things on me without giving me explanations or context. I don't like it at all that you didn't tell me about what happened between you and Kyle.
[He lays down on the bed, still naked, fingers curled around Ronan's energy as he sends soothing waves through it.]
I didn't chastise you, Ronan. I was startled, because I only had fragments of the picture, and I didn't understand how things had gotten to that point because you hadn't told me any of it, and then you wanted me to join in. It was like giving me a book with most of the first half removed and expecting me to understand what I was reading. Okay? Can you try to trust me more and tell me more things about your feelings and experiences, going forward?
[Apparently Ronan can't discern between spontaneous fun and inconsiderate douchebaggery. It doesn't matter now, though, he assures Adam. Nothing like this will ever happen again. He's beginning to realize that the Church, as usual, offered the best guidance for behavior. And with regards to sexuality, Ronan now understands that it should be avoided at all costs. At best, it causes him too much pain and confusion. At worst, it's one more way he hurts everyone he cares about.
It's the body, really. His body is a problem. He feels much better now, like this.
Settling against Adam's palms, Ronan's light dims. He's very sorry about everything. He didn't even care about Kyle when it happened, and he's surprised he cares at all now. Again, irrelevant to everything, because no one is going to touch him again. Except Adam, of course, because he belongs to Adam and Adam can do as he pleases with what belongs to him. But Ronan will be better now. The light flattens against Adam's skin, reaching into the veins at his wrists. They can just be one thing. He doesn't even have to be outside of Adam.]
Oh, Ronan. [Adam sighs. He loves Ronan, but Ronan's an idiot.
Ronan wants to be absorbed, but Adam doesn't allow it. They have to be careful with that. It can't become a dependency. He keeps Ronan in his hands, soothed just to be in contact with him like this.]
The Church does not offer the best guidance for behavior. You no longer belong to the Church. You belong to me, and the Church's guidance for behavior does not please me.
[Ronan doesn't want to be human again. He wants to be Adam's dream, to exist in a pure state for as long as he can. He vowed to obey, though, so the light splinters and spreads until it reforms Ronan's limbs. His fingers brush along Adam's arm. His leg hooks itself around Adam's thigh. His lips press a kiss into Adam's hair, just above his good ear.]
None of this would've happened if I listened to the Church.
You wouldn't be mine if you'd listened to the church.
[Adam nestles close, curling a hand around the side of Ronan's neck, resting his other palm over Ronan's heart, body relaxing as Ronan takes hold of him.]
I've shown you how much I love you. How grateful I am to have you.
Most of my favorite parts of you are the ones that show when you stop worrying so much about the church. The things you do that make me happy tend to be in opposition to Catholic principles.
[Adam nuzzles at his boyfriend's throat, still sending his usual affectionate waves through Ronan's energy, pulling that connection tight between them and around them, their own private communication.]
I respect that your faith is important to you, Ronan, but you already know that I exist in defiance of that, both with you and separate from you.
There is no shame in sex. No sin in desire.
[He says it soft and steady, like he's reciting a mantra.]
As long as everything is between consenting adults, then the purpose of sex is joy. Pleasure. Love.
[Adam's thumb drifts over Ronan's jawline, slow and soothing.]
I loved the way you grinned at me when you invited me in. I balked from a lack of understanding, that's all. And now I know the whole story, I have no objections. Ronan, I'm thrilled that you're starting to feel more comfortable with your own sexuality. I love that.
[He does and he doesn't. Now he's the only one left who's exclusively dating Raven Boys. They were a foursome. Now they can never be just a foursome ever again. Someone will always be with Blue, so as not to leave her out, and now Ronan has Kyle. Adam feels like he's being left behind.]
[Ronan only feels desire when he's in a human body. Sex is a filthy, useless need. They've found a way to become one without sin, and though he knows Adam would hate to frame it in that context, he knows that Adam enjoys their union just as much as he does.]
We have something better than anything anyone can give. Than any body can give. Pleasure and love without all of this.
[He gestures to his body as if it's a pile of garbage. Objectively, he knows that his body is a perfect creation. A work of art crafted by his father's hand. But that appeal is precisely the problem. (Or at least part of it, second to his own lasciviousness.) Something this vulgar can never be good.]
[Adam already knows his answer is no, but he considers it for Ronan's sake. His hand slides a little higher, fingers combing through Ronan's hair. Because Ronan wants it, Adam lets himself consider what it would really mean.]
I'd be the Greywaren.
[He breathes out at that, not quite a whistle. Individually, they're both powerful. Together, they can literally rewrite reality. It's godlike power.]
Noah and Gansey would be furious.
[He can already anticipate Ronan's answer on that--they'd get over it--and maybe they would. Ronan would still be present, alive, unharmed, and happier than he'd ever been or ever could be. For that alone, Adam expects that Gansey and Noah would respect Ronan's choice, eventually. It's Adam who doesn't intend to allow it.]
They might be happy for you, eventually, but they'd never forgive me for taking you away.
I'd miss the sex. The warmth of having a physical body to love. Being able to tangle up with you like this. I know it's the opposite for you, but sex with you is the closest I've ever felt to something like holiness. Having you inside my veins feels like a drug. An addiction, where eventually I'd lose myself, lose control, and get myself killed for it.
It'd mean that you and I would be united on the deepest possible level, sharing every thought, and yet... I can't help but think... it would be lonely, somehow. It would make me into something that could no longer love, because I would be complete unto myself, and inhuman, and truly, infinitely, unknowable.
[Ronan hadn't considered that, the possibility that they could still be lonely even if they had each other. Maybe it should have been obvious. The bargain with Cabeswater alone had caused so many changes within Adam. They are both, together, moving further and further from something resembling human. Most of the time, the idea appeals to Ronan. But no one else would understand. It would feel like death, like they were losing both Ronan and Adam to the Greywaren. The two of them would be the only ones who'd know the ecstasy of their new existence.
It reassures him to learn that Adam considers their physicality holy in itself, though. What's holy to Adam is holy to Ronan, too. The sickness of shame fades a bit, unknotting his stomach. It's true that being touched by Adam is different than being touched by anyone else. It's a kind of worship between them. Ronan's skin warms at the mere thought. Now that he's in his body, he finds it difficult to consider giving the sex up, too. Even if he feels in his heart it would be the virtuous thing to do, his arousal in Adam's presence is hard to ignore.]
I don't want to make you into something you don't want to be. I don't want to take you away. Did you mean it, when you said you want me to keep exploring this? I just don't want to hurt you anymore.
I do. [Adam smiles softly, reassured and pleased that Ronan's listening and negotiating instead of closing in on himself with a bunch of self-destructive assumptions. It makes it easier for him to be more fully honest, making it a conversation rather than just reassurance.]
I get a little bit nervous. You know how touchy I am over rejection. It still feels unbelievable that I'm loved at all, after so long without. To be loved so much by so many people is... impossible. It feels like it's too good to be true, and sooner or later it'll be taken away from me.
So I get touchy. Possessive. But I know how devoted you are to me. And I like you getting more comfortable with desire and sexuality. That makes me happy. If you're into Kyle, then let's explore it.
[Self-destruction still feels like the best option, as it always does, for many reasons beyond this. But the next-best option is always to listen to what Adam wants. Ronan would do anything for him. He'd leave Noah and Gansey, he'd forsake everything else in the world, he'd devote himself entirely to Adam if Adam wanted him alone. And he allows that truth to spill over into Adam's mind as he presses his face into the crook of Adam's neck.]
I think he could be fun for us. For both of us. I wanted to see how it would go, and then I wanted to bring him to you. Especially since Blue... Since we're losing what we had with the others. Or - I'm losing it, at least.
[Which is maybe an indirect way of asking if Adam intends to be with Blue again, also. Ronan will need Kyle even more, if so.]
[Adam sighs, nuzzling at the soft buzz on the sides of Ronan's head. It's easier to be honest with him now that Ronan's actually listening.]
Feels like suddenly I'm the only one just dating Raven Boys. Noah and Gansey are both so excited about Blue, which is... really weird and kind of uncomfortable for me? I can't help but wonder how long they wanted her for, and if they want her more than they want me, if they were thrilled when we broke up.
[Adam swallows, grip tightening on Ronan.]
That's... hard. And then you're dating Kyle now, and--I heard something about how you were flirting with a valkyrie or something?
[Adam's already soft-spoken voice gets softer, only a whisper.]
Can't help but feel like you'll be off with Kyle and the others will be off with Blue and it'll be ... just me.
And I'm not dating Kyle, either. It was one thing, and then it was tonight, and it can all stop if you tell me to stop.
[He brings his palms to Adam's cheeks, cupping his face.]
Adam, as long as I live, it'll never be just you. It'll be you and me, and whoever else you choose to be with us. And if all you want is you and me, then that's what we'll do.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He's also not at all sure how he feels about it.
Taking a seat on midair--held aloft by one of his force fields, and he's getting better at tapping just enough energy and then holding it in his veins so that he can summon force fields whenever he wants--Adam watches them. He's still wearing his jeans, and his expression is guarded.]
Not safer for the fish. How are you okay with this?
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So he puts his hands over Ronan's and gently pushes them off his hips, because the face Ronan's boyfriend is sending them isn't an encouraging one. ] Yeah, nah, the fish don't deserve that...
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Nevermind.
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As uncertain as he is about this whole thing, Ronan being unhappy is worse.
Rising to his feet again, Adam sends a soothing thrum through Ronan's energy. He steps out of his jeans and into the water. Kyle's comfort and concerns are an afterthought. Adam's priority is Ronan.
He catches Ronan with a hand on his elbow, studying his face.]
I'm surprised, that's all. You want this?
[This time, he's more careful with his tone, so that his voice says it's okay if you do.]
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He presses his palm to his mouth, looking past Adam to the darkness of the lake.]
I fucking said nevermind.
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I want you to smile the way you did before I questioned it. If Kyle makes you smile like that, I'm glad.
[He leans up to take a kiss, soft and sweet, and then lets go, nodding toward Kyle.]
Go on. I can handle his fire. The fish will... probably be fine.
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Even if the mood has been broken, he's happy to see that Adam is trying to guide him into a better state of mind. It's sweet. ]
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No, you were right. I should go pray. I'm fucking horrible.
[When Ronan looks at Kyle again, he does it askance, like he's afraid he'll get hard again if he looks directly.]
Hey, you're getting off lucky.
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Kyle, rain check. [He holds out his knuckles to Kyle for a fist bump, and holds out his other hand to Ronan, fingers splayed, palm up.] Tinkerbell, with me.
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Yeah, that's cool. [ There's no hard feelings between any of them. If this is what he thinks it's about, Kyle's been in his shoes to a lesser degree. He reciprocates the fist bump and starts wading toward the shore for his clothes. ]
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Murder wasn't on the agenda at all. It's just that Ronan knows he's not supposed to engage in carnal behavior, and terrible things happen to all the boys he loves. Adam was right to question him. There's probably a reason Ronan's father created his mother instead of taking a human lover.
With this form, Ronan's deep shame gives way to the cool acceptance that he shouldn't touch anyone at all.]
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Stay close.
[They can worry about Kyle later. Adam gives him a cursory wave as he gathers up his own clothing and Ronan's and starts heading toward the church.]
Open up to me. I want to understand what you originally wanted with Kyle and how that changed when I questioned you.
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There's the memory of his encounter with Kyle in the kitchen, and how Kyle had touched him, and how exciting and secretly terrifying it had been to let a stranger put hands on him.
There's the guilt when he realized Adam hadn't slept with anyone that night, and that he'd lost his temper over nothing. And the guilt echoing over and over every time Kyle contacted him. And the desire to do it again despite that. And the guilt over that desire.
And then the misguided idea that Adam might like to share Kyle. The horror when Adam chastised him instead. The realization that Adam was right.
Ronan had let himself become carefree. It was wrong.]
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I like you carefree. [He drops their clothing to one side of their little attic room--it's theirs, now. Belongs to the two of them. This version always has. It's not the same room as the one that had been Adam's back home, though Ronan had increasingly made that one his.
Ronan thinks he made an exact copy. He didn't, but Adam doesn't want to tell him that. He likes Ronan's version better.
The cardboard box under the bed doesn't have the dent from when Adam lost his temper and kicked it, because that's a reminder of the parts of this room that belonged to Blue and to Adam's past. The bathroom cabinet door opens smoothly, without the wobble it had developed back home. None of the wisps of Blue's hair or bits of brightly colored yarn fuzz were included in this version.
It's their sanctuary, and Adam's liked it more and more as he's realized that. He's removed some of the things that reminded him more painfully of his past, finding other places to store them. He replaced the pillows and the duvet with new ones, but left the mattress because the one Ronan dreamed was larger and softer than the one back home had been, and he wasn't about to bother hauling a mattress up all those stairs if it could be avoided.]
I like it when you trust me and tell me things. I like it less when you spring things on me without giving me explanations or context. I don't like it at all that you didn't tell me about what happened between you and Kyle.
[He lays down on the bed, still naked, fingers curled around Ronan's energy as he sends soothing waves through it.]
I didn't chastise you, Ronan. I was startled, because I only had fragments of the picture, and I didn't understand how things had gotten to that point because you hadn't told me any of it, and then you wanted me to join in. It was like giving me a book with most of the first half removed and expecting me to understand what I was reading. Okay? Can you try to trust me more and tell me more things about your feelings and experiences, going forward?
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It's the body, really. His body is a problem. He feels much better now, like this.
Settling against Adam's palms, Ronan's light dims. He's very sorry about everything. He didn't even care about Kyle when it happened, and he's surprised he cares at all now. Again, irrelevant to everything, because no one is going to touch him again. Except Adam, of course, because he belongs to Adam and Adam can do as he pleases with what belongs to him. But Ronan will be better now. The light flattens against Adam's skin, reaching into the veins at his wrists. They can just be one thing. He doesn't even have to be outside of Adam.]
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Ronan wants to be absorbed, but Adam doesn't allow it. They have to be careful with that. It can't become a dependency. He keeps Ronan in his hands, soothed just to be in contact with him like this.]
The Church does not offer the best guidance for behavior. You no longer belong to the Church. You belong to me, and the Church's guidance for behavior does not please me.
Human form again, please, Ronan.
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None of this would've happened if I listened to the Church.
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[Adam nestles close, curling a hand around the side of Ronan's neck, resting his other palm over Ronan's heart, body relaxing as Ronan takes hold of him.]
I've shown you how much I love you. How grateful I am to have you.
Most of my favorite parts of you are the ones that show when you stop worrying so much about the church. The things you do that make me happy tend to be in opposition to Catholic principles.
[Adam nuzzles at his boyfriend's throat, still sending his usual affectionate waves through Ronan's energy, pulling that connection tight between them and around them, their own private communication.]
I respect that your faith is important to you, Ronan, but you already know that I exist in defiance of that, both with you and separate from you.
There is no shame in sex. No sin in desire.
[He says it soft and steady, like he's reciting a mantra.]
As long as everything is between consenting adults, then the purpose of sex is joy. Pleasure. Love.
[Adam's thumb drifts over Ronan's jawline, slow and soothing.]
I loved the way you grinned at me when you invited me in. I balked from a lack of understanding, that's all. And now I know the whole story, I have no objections. Ronan, I'm thrilled that you're starting to feel more comfortable with your own sexuality. I love that.
[He does and he doesn't. Now he's the only one left who's exclusively dating Raven Boys. They were a foursome. Now they can never be just a foursome ever again. Someone will always be with Blue, so as not to leave her out, and now Ronan has Kyle. Adam feels like he's being left behind.]
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[Ronan only feels desire when he's in a human body. Sex is a filthy, useless need. They've found a way to become one without sin, and though he knows Adam would hate to frame it in that context, he knows that Adam enjoys their union just as much as he does.]
We have something better than anything anyone can give. Than any body can give. Pleasure and love without all of this.
[He gestures to his body as if it's a pile of garbage. Objectively, he knows that his body is a perfect creation. A work of art crafted by his father's hand. But that appeal is precisely the problem. (Or at least part of it, second to his own lasciviousness.) Something this vulgar can never be good.]
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I'd be the Greywaren.
[He breathes out at that, not quite a whistle. Individually, they're both powerful. Together, they can literally rewrite reality. It's godlike power.]
Noah and Gansey would be furious.
[He can already anticipate Ronan's answer on that--they'd get over it--and maybe they would. Ronan would still be present, alive, unharmed, and happier than he'd ever been or ever could be. For that alone, Adam expects that Gansey and Noah would respect Ronan's choice, eventually. It's Adam who doesn't intend to allow it.]
They might be happy for you, eventually, but they'd never forgive me for taking you away.
I'd miss the sex. The warmth of having a physical body to love. Being able to tangle up with you like this. I know it's the opposite for you, but sex with you is the closest I've ever felt to something like holiness. Having you inside my veins feels like a drug. An addiction, where eventually I'd lose myself, lose control, and get myself killed for it.
It'd mean that you and I would be united on the deepest possible level, sharing every thought, and yet... I can't help but think... it would be lonely, somehow. It would make me into something that could no longer love, because I would be complete unto myself, and inhuman, and truly, infinitely, unknowable.
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It reassures him to learn that Adam considers their physicality holy in itself, though. What's holy to Adam is holy to Ronan, too. The sickness of shame fades a bit, unknotting his stomach. It's true that being touched by Adam is different than being touched by anyone else. It's a kind of worship between them. Ronan's skin warms at the mere thought. Now that he's in his body, he finds it difficult to consider giving the sex up, too. Even if he feels in his heart it would be the virtuous thing to do, his arousal in Adam's presence is hard to ignore.]
I don't want to make you into something you don't want to be. I don't want to take you away. Did you mean it, when you said you want me to keep exploring this? I just don't want to hurt you anymore.
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I get a little bit nervous. You know how touchy I am over rejection. It still feels unbelievable that I'm loved at all, after so long without. To be loved so much by so many people is... impossible. It feels like it's too good to be true, and sooner or later it'll be taken away from me.
So I get touchy. Possessive. But I know how devoted you are to me. And I like you getting more comfortable with desire and sexuality. That makes me happy. If you're into Kyle, then let's explore it.
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I think he could be fun for us. For both of us. I wanted to see how it would go, and then I wanted to bring him to you. Especially since Blue... Since we're losing what we had with the others. Or - I'm losing it, at least.
[Which is maybe an indirect way of asking if Adam intends to be with Blue again, also. Ronan will need Kyle even more, if so.]
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[Adam sighs, nuzzling at the soft buzz on the sides of Ronan's head. It's easier to be honest with him now that Ronan's actually listening.]
Feels like suddenly I'm the only one just dating Raven Boys. Noah and Gansey are both so excited about Blue, which is... really weird and kind of uncomfortable for me? I can't help but wonder how long they wanted her for, and if they want her more than they want me, if they were thrilled when we broke up.
[Adam swallows, grip tightening on Ronan.]
That's... hard. And then you're dating Kyle now, and--I heard something about how you were flirting with a valkyrie or something?
[Adam's already soft-spoken voice gets softer, only a whisper.]
Can't help but feel like you'll be off with Kyle and the others will be off with Blue and it'll be ... just me.
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Magnus? I haven't... I wouldn't call it flirting.
[Though he's handsome. Ronan would grant that.]
And I'm not dating Kyle, either. It was one thing, and then it was tonight, and it can all stop if you tell me to stop.
[He brings his palms to Adam's cheeks, cupping his face.]
Adam, as long as I live, it'll never be just you. It'll be you and me, and whoever else you choose to be with us. And if all you want is you and me, then that's what we'll do.
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