[That he's a second or third choice. That he's in the way of something. That he should have been a better boyfriend and made time for Noah. That he should move out. That Adam should move in. That he's going to Hell. That he should have tried kissing Adam ages ago. That even if he had, Adam would have laughed at him the way Kavinsky did. That Noah has been wanting to kiss Adam for ages. That Adam is bound to be a better kisser than him and Noah must know it by now.
Once it's there, Ronan can't clear the image from his mind. He pictures Adam in his place, taking his spot in this bed, with Noah's legs wrapped around him and his elegant hands navigating Noah's body with the same expertise Adam applies to every scenario. Adam would be a good lover. He would study until he was sure of it and he would put Ronan to shame.
The worst part is... It feels like a wish, not a fear. Ronan doesn't understand it. Instead of being repulsed, he regrets not being there to see whatever happened between Noah and Adam. The jealousy is driving something in him, and though Ronan knows he should get up and leave, he pulls Noah closer and thrusts against him again, a half-second of relief for his frustration.]
no subject
[That he's a second or third choice. That he's in the way of something. That he should have been a better boyfriend and made time for Noah. That he should move out. That Adam should move in. That he's going to Hell. That he should have tried kissing Adam ages ago. That even if he had, Adam would have laughed at him the way Kavinsky did. That Noah has been wanting to kiss Adam for ages. That Adam is bound to be a better kisser than him and Noah must know it by now.
Once it's there, Ronan can't clear the image from his mind. He pictures Adam in his place, taking his spot in this bed, with Noah's legs wrapped around him and his elegant hands navigating Noah's body with the same expertise Adam applies to every scenario. Adam would be a good lover. He would study until he was sure of it and he would put Ronan to shame.
The worst part is... It feels like a wish, not a fear. Ronan doesn't understand it. Instead of being repulsed, he regrets not being there to see whatever happened between Noah and Adam. The jealousy is driving something in him, and though Ronan knows he should get up and leave, he pulls Noah closer and thrusts against him again, a half-second of relief for his frustration.]