[kavinsky weighs next to nothing, but somehow the sit of his skinny arm levels out ronan's shoulders and fixes the angle of their kiss. or maybe there was nothing wrong with it to begin with because the disparity of their heights has always been kind of fun and he always liked how tall ronan is, big, mean, mean-looking, meaner-looking when he's scared. best of all, scared of himself. fucking catholics.
he remembers being kind of disappointed on july the 4th, when he found the hard limits to ronan's cruelty and the pretty beginnings of his courage. mixed in with the cocaine noise and self-immolating hatred.
he doesn't feel that way now. but then again, between the two of them, ronan was always the one with real imagination. this is new. unforeseen. kavinsky's only good at copying. so he copies the restraint of reggie's hands and the questionable diplomacy of jesse's tongue and predatory langor of jack's arms, and he kisses ronan this second time, until he isn't sure if it was maybe jack's hands and reggie's tongue and jesse's tender arms, and then until his head and his heart empty out and he isn't sure who he's copying. it isn't him; what's left bears no resemblence to kavinsky as he knows himself.
some garbage he picked up somewhere. maybe a movie.]
Think fast, [he says, before ronan can think about kissing anymore. and then he pushes ronan off the edge of the popcorn stand roof. feet first. he'll be fine.]
no subject
he remembers being kind of disappointed on july the 4th, when he found the hard limits to ronan's cruelty and the pretty beginnings of his courage. mixed in with the cocaine noise and self-immolating hatred.
he doesn't feel that way now. but then again, between the two of them, ronan was always the one with real imagination. this is new. unforeseen. kavinsky's only good at copying. so he copies the restraint of reggie's hands and the questionable diplomacy of jesse's tongue and predatory langor of jack's arms, and he kisses ronan this second time, until he isn't sure if it was maybe jack's hands and reggie's tongue and jesse's tender arms, and then until his head and his heart empty out and he isn't sure who he's copying. it isn't him; what's left bears no resemblence to kavinsky as he knows himself.
some garbage he picked up somewhere. maybe a movie.]
Think fast, [he says, before ronan can think about kissing anymore. and then he pushes ronan off the edge of the popcorn stand roof. feet first. he'll be fine.]